So the Super Bowl is over for another year, and Prince is still a freak, but we knew that.  What we don’t know is how the big game would play out in any of the billions of other alternate universes — like the one where Tony Romo led the Dallas Cowboys to victory over the Montreal Dancing Ostriches.  So we present the Top X Alternate-Universe Super Bowl Halftime Shows: 

10. The Adult Swim Exploding Billboard Extravaganza
9. The Pharmaceutical Industry Presents: A Tribute to Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin!
8. The Broadway cast of “Osama, We Love You!” sings their Tony Award winning song “Osama rhymes with Obama!”
7. “The John Mellencamp Jingoistic Appeal to American Patriotism, sponsored by Kia
6. Troy Aikman’s Big Gay Salute to Flamenco!
5. Legends of Rock, featuring Buddy Holly, Ricky Nelson, and Otis Redding in Concert, sponsored by Nev-R-Crash Airplanes
4. The Billy Joel “Kicks Off A World Tour Even Though He Hasn’t Released An Album In 15 Years Spectacular”!
3. The Zinedine Zidane headbutt-a-thon
2. Peyton Manning in Concert, sponsored by Sprint, Mastercard, XBox, Gatorade, DirecTV, and Reebok

And, wardrobe malfunctioning its way to  #1:
1. Up with Nipples