Saturday September 25, 1999

C’est Beau!!!

Ah yes, Anthony Allas here once again with a movie review for what has now become the “occasional” dish of cultural sushi for your soul.

Conte d’ Automne or better known on the theatre marquee as “Autumn Tale” is the last chapter of Eric Rohmer’s quartet, “Tales of the Four Seasons.” Look upon it as a sophisticated fairy tale, set in the beauty of the Rhone Valley vineyards in France.

Rohmer was a founding father of the French New Wave, which includes Godard, Truffaut, Resnais, Malle and Chabrol. He tends to make his movies in cyclical groups. “Six Moral Tales,” which he once said was not so much about what people did as what they thought about while they were doing it, included three that made him famous: “My Night at Maud’s” (1969), “Claire’s Knee” (1971) and “Chloe in the Afternoon” (1972). These were followed by his “Comedies and Proverbs” and the current series, “Tales of the Four Seasons.”

It is not possible to spoil the plot in review of a single Rohmer film as it is never the story, but the telling of the story, that make his films a rich, emotionally satisfying experience. Ultimately, it is not the “what” of what happens in the movie that is as important as the “how.” What we view is the casual beauty of these mid-forties women, the intrusive smokestacks of the power plants that loom always in the background of the sensuous beauty and the elaborate happenstance that characterize every exchange between the characters. Rohmer is interested not in the mating but in the the dance, in the preening and the longing and the lies people tell themselves and each other.

In “Autumn Tale” Rohmer offers no new insights on relationships, and the movie’s slow pace will drive a lot of viewers quite mad with boredom. But, this film does something heroic in the film market of today which is filled with teen angst, prolific gore and dazzling special effects. It acknowledges, without condescension or cheap humor, the desire, loneliness and sexuality in the lives of middle-aged adults. Hence the season, Autumn.

Beatrice Romand is Magali, a surly, unruly-haired but kind-spirited 45-year-old Algerian widow who inherits her family’s vineyards. She fanciess a man but doesn’t know any as she lives in isolation on her lands, estranged from her two children, tied up in the harvesting of the grape. Her son Leo’s casual girlfriend, Rosine (Alexia Portal) sets about fixing her up with her old philosophy professor, Etienne (Didier Sandre), though Etienne generally prefers younger women. Magali’s childhood friend, the very happily married, Isabelle (Marie Riviere), comes up with a deliciously unconventional idea. She places a personal ad in the newspaper for Magali but fears that her friend may be too prickly and insecure to be told of these efforts on her behalf. So Isabelle answers the ads herself and chooses one among the applicants. She then proceeds to go on several lunch dates with Gerald (Alain Libolt) before revealing her true identity and her real intentions, much to his great confusion and consternation.

The suspense and fun of “Autumn Tale” is in seeing which of the men, if any, hit it off with her. As the gentle but hard-shelled Magali, Romand is heartfelt, and Riviere is a study in middle-aged elegance as Isabelle. Both Romand and Riviere made their start nearly twenty years ago in other Rohmer vehicles so there is a sense of history in their casting. Equally effective is Libolt as a sensitive fellow who answers a personal ad and stumbles into the lives of two intense ladies.

This is not a must-see film, and it certainly does not reinvent the cinematic wheel, but it does remind one of the power of good old-fashioned character-driven movies.

Just remember….I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time!

Friday May 21, 1999

C’est Magnifique!!!

Ah yes, Anthony Allas here once again to dish that modicum of cultural sushi your way.

I could not stay away after viewing “Midsummers Night’s Dream.” I felt the need to share with you my feelings on the movie. Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Everett, Kevin Kline….. These are some of my favourite actors and now I have even more reason to embrace them. What acting! What emotion! What costumes! What scenery! What music! The soundtrack features arias by Cecilia Bartoli and Luciano Pavarotti, along with Mendelssohn’s immortal music for the play, and swatches of Puccini and Verdi, to express the characters’ romantic longings.

One ostensibly added attraction was the vast overgrown Etruscan-like woodland set built on Federico Fellini’s old Cinecitta Soundstage 5 in Rome, a murky fairy kingdom where much of the film takes place. Michael Hoffman (the expert director of “One Fine Day,” “Restoration,” and “Soapdish”) sets the story in 19th century Tuscany with lush landscapes and some silly comic bits with bicycles.

As we all know Midsummer’s Night Dream was written by Shakespeare in 1594 or 1595, about the same time he penned Romeo and Juliet, and has been re-created in numerous American high school productions and local theater troupes. Film adaptations include the classic 1935 Hollywood production with James Cagney as Bottom and Mickey Rooney as Puck, and the 1968 Royal Shakespeare Company’s version starring our favorite doyenne, Judi Dench as Tatania and Sir Ian Richardson as Oberon. This new production would make my old English master proud. It comes to the big screen with all the pageantry Shakespeare wrote into the play albeit a bit less magic. The plot has a somewhat play-within-a-play scenario and Michael Hoffman tries to sprinkle fairy dust on an old favorite and turn it into an hour and one half of joy. At most times, the actors render an easiness with the Shakespearean dialog which often makes you forget they you are “hearing” literature.

Lavish and star-studded, the story revolves around the tangled love lives of four people (Anna Friel, Dominic West, Christian Bale, and Calista Flockhart) crossed by fate and put into the middle of a marital spat between the fairy King and Queen, Oberon (Rupert Everett) and Titania (Michelle Pfeiffer) and fueled by Stanley Tucci’s mischievous Puck. It seems that Oberon wants Titania to give up to him a little changeling boy that she has rescued so that he might become a page to Oberon and Titania refuses which sends Oberon into an angry rage.

“Set your heart at rest,” says the queen; “your whole fairy kingdom buys not the boy of me.”

“Well, go your way,” says Oberon, “before the morning dawns I will torment you for this injury. ” His method of torment, of course, becomes the fodder upon which the night’s happenings lay and sets the stage for the ensuing silliness.

Oberon, of course, calls upon Puck, also known as Robin Goodfellow and played with a droll wit by Tucci, to fetch him the flower called Love In Idleness which has the power to enable the sleeping to awaken and fall in love with the first being upon which they lay their eyes. Of course Puck muddles up who falls in love with whom and the next hour is spent in righting the wrongs. Titania falls in love with a transformed Bottom, played to the hilt by Kline, who has become a donkey by some fairy magic. It also causes the tragic lovers, Lysander, Demetrius, Hermia and Helena to fall for the wrong intended mate.

There were a few completely failed bits, such as the cat fight in the mud between Flockhart and Friel. I heard a production rumor that the mud was so invasive that it filled their corsets and peeled their skin like sandpaper which resulted in only three takes. Also, I must say, while the bit with the bikes added comedy, what antique bikes had light switches in that time? Were those Schwinns that I spied? Schwinns were not even invented until 1895 and in Chicago at that.

David Strathairn plays the Duke, Theseus, with a bit too much restraint for a play known for it’s frolicking good nature. Calista Flockhart and Pfeiffer warm to their rolls midway through the film after a somewhat awkward start. Did I mention that Pfeiffer has never been more lovely? If I didn’t, let me repeat myself….Pfeiffer has never been more lovely. While Everett is at his most dashing and sensual, the film’s director gives him plenty of muscle-rippling half-clothed scenes that tend to bludgeon the erotica into our heads instead of only the gentle nudge necessary. Rupert Everett makes male and female hearts alike pound without laboured pretense.

Kline is sneakily serious playing Bottom, the weaver with actorly affectations. A great quote from Kline about Bottom appeared in the English papers. “Bottom is one of Shakespeare’s greatest comic inventions,” says Kevin Kline. “He’s the paradigm for all ham actors — he wants to play all the parts, and he thinks he’s God’s gift to theater. Actually, there’s a little bit of Bottom in everyone who has ever stood on a stage. It’s a dream role for actors because they can get in touch with that childish love of make-believe that motivates any actor.” As his inept band of actors takes to the forest to practice the play intended for display at the wedding feast, Bottom just happens to be the first creature Titania lays her eyes upon with the administered dose of flower dew. Even though transformed into a braying beast, he fulfills the curse and spends the night in a flowered and swinging bower with the bewitched and beautiful queen along with fairies who flutter in attendance. Michael Hoffman is at his best when he makes the fairy scenes dance with magic but doesn’t get bogged down in special effects.

After Bottom is transformed back to human dignity, his actor’s troupe vies for the chance to perform in front of the Duke at his wedding to Hippolyta (played with a thoroughly dispassionate air by stunningly beautiful Sophie Marceau). The loosely trained troupe’s play is picked from several available acts, none so suitable for a wedding feast as their play, and chosen, I suspect, by the Duke mostly for it’s brevity and not for the acting skills of the players. The execution of the play ensures the rapturously funny ending, well worth waiting for. To borrow words from the Bard….”All’s well that ends well!”

Just remember….I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time!

Tuesday August 25, 1998

Bonjour mes amis! Once again I offer profuse apologies for deserting you for the past week. I have been busy familiarizing our newest columnist, Txredd, with the site. Now that she is settled in I can once again return my attentions to bringing you tantalizing bits of cultural sushi. Although, I do admit it may still prove a difficult task as Txredd is seated mere feet away making it very difficult to concentrate. Alas, I shall try my best.

With record advance sales of the videocassette of the blockbuster Titanic due to be released September 1, it appears one of its stars is getting more than just a bloated ego. Anyone who has seen his majesty Leo DiCraprio (misspelling intended) around town lately has noticed that the young lad seems to be a bit on the soft side. Speculation is that had Leo looked as puffy as he does now he would have never gotten the part in Titanic. Apparently he and his former co-star enjoy a fondness for indulgence as she was already busting at the seams at the Oscars. I’m sure fitness guru Richard Simmons would love to get a crack at young Leo. (once again, read into that what you may)

And apparently Leo is not in any hurry to fill up his dancecard with actual work either. It was reported yesterday that he turned down a role in American Psycho. Too close for comfort perhaps or would it simply interfere with his feeding schedule.

It appears Hollywood is laden with young lads these days looking to join Leo in becoming the next generation of young rebels both on and off the screen. Television star and wannabe indie-film star, Jason Priestley was taken to detox a few weeks ago after he o.d’d on drugs in real life. And departing tv child star, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, recently burned his leading lady while filming his new movie Speedway Junkie while handing her a fake pot pipe. I’m not sure whether I am relieved that the young lad obviously doesn’t have any experience with such paraphernalia or concerned that the film industry is giving him lessons!

Moving on to HSX-related news, I see the site funds are off and running. Word has it that there has been some concern expressed over the tremendous progress some of the site funds have made already. I was particularly pleased to see our newest (and my favorite) member of our staff fire off a swift reply on TT to rebut such nonsense. Really, it only makes sense that the so-called “experts” would be adept at managing a fund. I sense perhaps sour grapes on the part of some who are getting exposure that is less than flattering. After all, it is a tad embarrassing to be languishing at the back of the pack now isn’t it. But, cheer up I say. Tis only takes one misstep for the mighty to topple and the meek to triumph. One only needs to look to your own President Clinton to know that!

Speaking of your commander in chief, I heard the most delightfully amusing quote from stick in the mud, Senator Orrin Hatch the other day and since I always leave you with a quote I shall choose that one. “Let’s get this sucker over with.”

Remember, I do not repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time. Au Revoir!

Friday August 7, 1998

Hello my dear readers! Alas, we shall be a little light on the Francais today so that I may squeeze in a vertitable feast of cultural sushi.

Let us start with sending out condolences to Arnold Schwarzenegger whose mother just passed away this week in Weiz. She reportedly collapsed while visited her husband’s grave which she visited every day. Arnold is reported to be devastated at the loss. Tis touching to see such a stereotypical “he-man” is really a softie underneath. Which reminds me, I really should ring up my own mum and say hi.

Moving on to more Arnold news, it appears he will be appearing in a remake of the hit television series The Six Million Dollar Man. But, apparently, these days six million just doesn’t cut it so the producers are upping the bionic man’s value from the millions to the billions. Let’s see, so far that makes at least three 70’s television series that are being made into 90’s movies (Wonder Woman, Charlies Angels). However, if anyone even mentions the idea of bringing Jimmy Walker back I shall simply go mad.

Speaking of going mad, Elizabeth Hurley confided in a recent interview that she keeps a “lunatic file” in her office containing details of all the disturbing correspondance she receives, including regular missives from a chap who informs her of his urinary tract distress. She claims she maintains this file in the event anything should happen to her, the police would have a handy list of suspects to check out.

I’m afraid I’ve bad news to report for my chums who are infatuated with gorgeous X-Files redhead, Gillian Anderson. After several disappointing relationships she recently declared that she was tired of chasing men and that she is going to forget about men for awhile and enjoy being single. Is that the sound of hearts breaking all over the country I hear?

Speaking of lovely redheads, I’ll let you in on a little HSB&R secret. We are in the process of luring one of my favorite HSX redheads onto our staff. Mum’s the word though!

Following the “lovely lady” theme I appear to have going here, Zorro star, Catherine Zeta Jones is set to star in one of the most sought-after roles in Hollywood. This stunning beauty has snatched up a starring role in the film Black Dahlia, the follow up to Oscar winner LA Confidential.

Apparently though, the Spice Girls aren’t having as much luck with convincing Hollywood to give them another movie vehicle. They have been pounding the pavement in LA during their five day stay here and are apparently determined to leave with a movie deal. Their agents are with William Morris so if they can’t find something for them then no one can. Although, their 15 minutes of fame seems to be stuck at the 14 minute mark so I wouldn’t be surprised to see a studio find something for them.

And for our last bit of cultural sushi for the day, congratulations go out to actor-director Forest Whitaker who has been hand-picked to chair the first Black Hollywood Film Festival. The three day showcase is set to run from February 19th to the 21st and is planned as an annual competition for black filmakers from America and Canada to bring added attention to their work. To this I say bravo! and it is about time!

I must bid you adieu for now. But, I will give you a task to do in preparation for the next serving of cultural sushi. Ponder this: a new survey in Film magazine has named the top five cheesiest movie lines of all time. E-mail me with your picks and we’ll compare them to the “winners” of the survey.

You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light. And remember, I do not repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.

Friday July 24, 1998

Bon apres-midi mon amies! I AM Anthony Allas, once again flying solo unencumbered by thoughts of romance and therefore able to give you my undivided attention to bring you your daily dish of cultural sushi.

It is reported that Claire Danes, Gillian Anderson, and Minnie Driver have signed on to voice characters in Miramax’s U.S. release of the Japanese animated film PRINCESS MONONOKOE This dubbed version will open next summer Although there have been unsubstantiated reports that the undubbed version would appear sometime this summer that does not appear to be the case. This film has made over $150 million in Japan alone and with the addition of these three lovely ladies I am sure it will be a smash here in the states next year.

Speaking of lovely ladies, I received an e-mail from a very travel weary trader TxRedd who has just returned from a jaunt to Europe. I am insanely jealous as she writes me that not only was she in France during the World Cup hoopla, but the celebration took place right outside her hotel window. Welcome back wishes go out to her and lets hope she ends her self-imposed HSX sabbatical.

I noticed that Variety reported that Columbia is attempting to lure Ang Lee to direct its Houdini biopic. Still no word on whether you know who has agreed to star in it though.

Another trader has sent me the following tidbit that the Edison Electric Institute has issued a press release warning that the new film Small Soldiers sends a dangerous signal to kids that it’s safe to play around electric utility poles. The scene the EEI is concerned about involves its main star scaling a utility pole, crawling over the crossarms, and standing on the service-wire insulators to create an electromagnetic pulse by shorting out two distribution transformers. And I suppose they think every child that watches this film is going to run out and try that stunt? Really. That is almost as bad as the warning labels on hair dryers not to sleep with them on. I think America has become such a litigious society that people feel warnings must be sent out on every silly little thing to prevent another baseless lawsuit. I suppose next we will see warning lables right on our movie stubs.

Well, I must dash. I am heading out to Spago’s for some lunch with old chums in town on a holiday. I know, I know, Spago’s is tres passe but it was their choice not mine. Please don’t hold it against me, at least they didn’t choose Hard Rock or heaven forbid, Planet Hollywood.

“No problem is so formidable that you can’t walk away from it.” Remember, I do not repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.

Friday July 17, 1998

Bonjour mon amies! Pardonez moi for my somewhat extended absence, but I have been romancing a new love and alas, it has taken quite a bit of my spare time. But fear not, today’s sampling of cultural sushi should more than make amends.

Further bad news for divorcing couple Bruce Wilis and Demi Moore. Planet Hollywood’s stock hit an all time low this week. The restaurant’s shares have plunged about 75 per cent since August of 1997, when the couple were still experiencing marital bliss. This has cut the chain’s market value by more than $2.4 billion. But, truth be told, part of this recent slide is attributed to the couple’s liquidating most of their shares. After this, I don’t think Bruce had better call up his old pal and fellow investor, Arnold Schwarzenneger looking for a shoulder to cry on.

It does appear however, that Demi has chosen to bury her ah, pain, in her work. She is set to fly over to the South of France in October to film a new movie there. Demi will star in Passion of Mind, a drama in which she plays a woman whose life appears to alternate between two parallel existences. Her part is that of a successful, single New York book editor – and a widowed American mother of two living in the South of France. The tale follows her quest to discover which life is real and which is a dream.

And while we are touching on the subject of those horribly tacky Planet Hollywood restaraunts, did everyone read the latest Entertainment Weekly where president Brian Woods and reporter Josh Young are fleeing the restaraunt and Woods is quoted as saying “There’s only so long one can spend in a Planet Hollywood, and two hours is about it.” Mon dieu! When even the president of your chain cannot tolerate spending time in one of your restaraunts perhaps it is time to think about moving on.

The saying is “everything old is new again” and that holds true for this little bit of cultural sushi. Perrenial cheesecake producer Aaron Spelling is set to spend $96 million doing a movie of his cult 70’s t.v. hit, Charlie’s Angels. Perky blonde, Jenny McCarthy will start her second 15 minutes of fame and play Jill Munroe, the role which rocketed Farrah Fawcett to the top, Michelle Yeoh will play Sabrina Duncan, originally played by Kate Jackson and in a 90’s politically correct move, new mom Jada Pinkett Smith will play Kelly Garrett, formerly acted by K Mart hawster, Jaclyn Smith. No word yet on who will play the infamous and never seen Charlie.

Another film revamping the past for the 90’s, 54, is rumored to be experiencing some problems. Traders in New York who happened by the famed club on West 54th noticed commotion that could only spell reshoots. Apparently, the producers are looking to tone down some of the wild content of the film that may turn off younger audiences. Alas, this is the trouble with shooting a film from one of the wildest places during some of the wildest times in New York’s history. I fear that if the movie loses some of its edge in an attempt to appeal to the younger moviegoers it will also end up losing viewers who want a stroll down memory lane.

A raging debate amongst the staff here at the HSB&R has been taking place this week on the chances of this weekend’s film, Something About Mary. Talks of wagers and the like were bantered about but I never did catch if any were made. I proposed the losers should have to sit through a Joe Pesci movie marathon but apparently that was considered inhumane. Pop back on Monday and see who was right and who is crying in their martini.

Before I run, I mustn’t forget to wish our very own maven of moxie, Six Gun Sara, a very happy birthday on Monday. She refuses to divulge her true age but I’ve been told she is already planning a 30th birthday bash to coincide with the new millenium.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. Remember, I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.

Monday July 06, 1998

Je suis Anthony Allas and today I present you with a few new snippets of cultural sushi.

In my last column, I pointed out the importance of soundtracks to an upcoming film. Here is an interesting fact for you. There are five soundtracks in the ten top-selling albums for last week. (1)City of Angels, (4)Armageddon, (5) Hope Floats, (6) Godzilla and (10) Bullworth.

We all know what the term “sleeper” means in the industry. It pertains to a film that opens with no advance warning or media hype and becomes a surprize hit. While You Were Sleeping, Babe and Home Alone qualify as “sleeper” hits. Here is a new term that I picked up while reading the New York Times on Sunday afternoon. It is called “tentpole.” A “tentpole” is a widely anticipated sequel or a big-budget movie like Godzilla that is expected to earn so much money it will hold up a studio’s “tent” and shelter it from the losses of less-successful films. Now my question, of course, is what shelters the studios from loser “tents?”

Heartthrob, Leonardo DiCaprio who commands a monster $25Mil for a film these days should just consider not making bad career choices and just continue his TV ad work. He just finished making three TV spots in Japan, a 15-second spot for Orico, a credit-card company; and two 30-second shots ads for Suzuki station wagons. He was paid $4Mil from Orico alone. If I had know that being a Suzuki salesman paid that much money, I would have changed my line of business a long time ago.

He’s still an actor, still the husband of Meg Ryan, but now, he’s a film director. Older heartthrob, Dennis Quaid has the new movie Parent Trap with Natasha Richardson coming out soon. Added to his many talents, he has directed a film for TNT cable called Everything That Rises.

No update yet on the portfolio giveaway by our own Mr. Hub. He is giving away his smaller portfolio, Sunuvhub, when it reaches $10Mil. If he held ARMAG in the port, the new owner may have to wait just a tad longer than planned.

Mr. Mike of Hollywood Attacks! has once again fanned the flames of controversy on Ticker Talk by calling every single trader who held ARMAG over the holiday weekend a “freak.” As with every single weekend, some hold openers and some don’t. By Sunday afternoon, those who lost out join those who didn’t in the back-slapping, gloating and commiseration. Mr. Mike, here is a message for you . . . this is a game! Wouldn’t you rather make friends than enemies?

Life imitates art, etc, etc. A new trend is shaping up and I find it very disconcerting. Several online discount brokerage firms, such as E-Trade, are now hosting chat rooms for clients. The verbiage ranges from “hello’s” to well-written stock plugs used to lure would-be investors to certain stocks. The greatest bull market of all time has joined the greatest communications revolution, the Internet. What is discussed in these chat rooms has it’s share of bull too. Sophisticated traders do not use advice from unknown traders to steer them on their course. Stranger’s motives are hard to know. We have the similar venues at HSX. They are called Ticker Talk and fansites. The main difference between “art” and “life” is that “life” uses real money. Would you want your advice in real stocks or mutual funds to come from unemployed actors or a kid who dishes out macaroni at a college cafeteria? To counteract the effects of this new boon, the NASD is launching a program called Netwatch to try to audit some of the rooms. The computer software is being programmed to watch out for terms such as “easy money”, “get rich quick”, “can’t lose”, or “double your money.” I wonder how much money it would take to get them to add Ticker Talk to their list?

If everything is coming your way then you’re in the wrong lane. Just remember, I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.

Tuesday June 30, 1998

Quell heure est-il? I AM Anthony Allas and it is time for another serving of cultural sushi.

I have noticed so many postings on Ticker Talk discussing movie reviews and adding information about soundtracks. It reminds me how important music is to a film. So, I tracked down the top ten movie soundtracks of all time (by number of units sold). The results were interesting, but a bit startling. Here they are:

10. The Way We Were 9. Footloose 8. Top Gun 7. Grease 6. Lion King 5. Titanic 4. Dirty Dancing 3. Saturday Night Fever 2. Purple Rain 1. The Bodyguard

The Bodyguard has sold over 16 million copies and I found that each of these ten still have sales each week. A hit song can carry a movie from obscurity to the threshold of greatness.

It must seem a trivia day, so here is another piece of that I came across in researching novels turned into movies. In the history of the New York Times bestseller list, only six authors have ever reached No. 1 on both the fiction and non-fiction charts. Five of them are not surprising, Ernest Hemingway, Dr. Seuss, John Steinbeck, William Styron and Irving Wallace. The sixth was the bash-up shocker, Jimmy Buffett. He topped the fiction chart in 1993 with Where Is Joe Merchant?. His latest book, A Pirate Looks at 50 is currently No. 1 in nonfiction. I am not a big Buffett fan but I can’t find where he ever had a No.1 single or album. Now what is that American colloquialism? Oh, yes, Go Figure!

Here is an interesting snippet from Dr. Doolittle. Eddie Murphy is well-known in Hollywood as being a slick dresser. The producers and director of the film asked him to tone it down a little so that he wouldn’t upstage the animals. In spite of his top billing, the animals steal the show with some colorful costumes in the film version of this classic tale. “I wanted Murphy’s wardrobe to be very realistic and understated, which is a lot more difficult than dressing someone to stand out,” Sharon Davis, Dr. Doolittle’s designer, says. “You have to rely on quality of fabric and cut to give an actor star quality instead of using color or some sort of novelty (like Men In Black). . . so I chose elegant Zegna suits as well as fashions by Donna Karan and Calvin Klein. And unlike TV, where clothes are allowed to look brand-new, feature films like the clothes to look like they’ve been worn a few times.” The designer confides that Murphy, like Denzel Washington in Devil in a Blue Dress, is a clotheshorse. “He’s a dream to dress. He’s a 40 regular with perfect proportions and simply walks into the clothes. . . unlike other actors who need extensive alterations.” I am working very hard on Sharon to tell who and what those alterations are for a future column.

Michael Bolton who recently had his long locks shorn has announced that he is going to auction off the excess hair for charity. Yes, you heard me right! Don’t laugh, a lock of Napoleon Bonaparte’s hair has sold for as much as $9,200 and a lock of Mickey Mantle’s for $6,900. For goodness sakes, Humphrey Bogart’s toupee only sold for $500.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. (Bertrand Russell) Just remember, I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.

Tuesday June 23, 1998

Good morning. I AM Anthony Allas and as always, I am your ginza chef of cultural sushi.

The very first thing I would like to do this morning is to offer our heartfelt condolences to Txredd on the loss of her father after the very recent loss of her mother. She is a friend of ours (especially bbbrownie, Trav and A Mookie), a loyal supporter of all columnists, and a long-time trader on HSX. Hearing this news reminded me of what the real tragedies of life are. They are not such things as openings that adjust downward or the constant insults to HSX and to each other in columns and on Ticker Talk. Life is most precious and meant to be enjoyed. Let us take this time to consider this and try to be more cognizant of the important things and let the small things lie. Txredd, you are in our prayers.

I would also like to congratulate all of the writers at Mali’s for the recent spate of updated columns. As all seasoned columnists will tell you, the first few columns are the easiest. It is the repeated grind that gets to you. Most of us are not paid and do this as a labor of love. With all of the fan sites available to players today, it becomes harder to write columns of singular interest and new themes. I am sure there are days when we all feel there is nothing new to say under the sun. Again, great going chaps!

Kirstie Alley has joined Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards and Ellen Barkin in Dairy Queens, a spoof aboout a small town’s obsession with a teen beauty contest. Alley portrays an overbearing, civic-minded mother who will stop at nothing to ensure that here daughter (Richards) wins the contest. The film will be shot in Minnesota. Maybe out John Scott and Six Gun Sara will get to be extras in the movie.

It looks as if Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, who have never worked together, are preparing to do just that. Variety reports the two Hollywood heavyweights recently “shook hands” over a promise to make a movie next summer, their first mutual window of opportunity. Spielberg has already committed to his next project, an adaptation of Arthur Golden’s novel Memories of a Geisha. Curise, meanwhile, is busy planning Mission Impossible 2 with director John Woo. Rumor says the project could be an adaptation of Nicholas Sparks’ bestseller The Notebook, about an aged couple looking back on their lifelong romance.

James Cameron says he has approached NASA about making a movie about the building of the International Space Station. NASA hasn’t responded to the filmmaker’s offer as of yet.

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking (H. L. Mencken). Just remember, I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.

Monday, June 15, 1998

Salut! Comment allez-vous? I AM Anthony Allas and have those looked-forward-to snippets of cultural sushi that brighten your day.

I hear that Cher is having Tea with Mussolini. Franco Zeffirelli (Romeo and Juliet) is directng the comedy, about an American Italophile (Cher) who enounters a trio of British eccentrics (Judi Densch, Maggie Smith and Joan Plowright) in the Tuscan town of San Gimignano. The film is set in the period leading up to World War II.

Filmmaker Oliver Parker who acted in Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser II is jumping on the Oscar Wilde bandwagon by readying an adaptation of the Irish playwright’s tale of blackmail and love, An Ideal Husband. This time his job is as writer and director. The production is brought to us by Icon Entertainment International which among other things brought us Braveheart, Payback, Immortal Beloved and Spice World. The cast includes Cate Blanchett (Pushing Tin, The Talented Mr. Ripley), Gabriel Byrne, Minnie Driver, Rupert Everett and Julianne Moore.

Don’t Try This on a Cruise Ship! Maybe Titanic should have come with a “Don’t Try This at Home” disclaimer. A Norwegian newspaper reports that a female ferry passenger imitating Rose’s (Kate Winslet) would-be suicidal swan-dive pose fell to her death Thursday in the waters off Sweden. The woman, identified only as a thirtysomething Norwegian, reportedly told friends she wanted to do a “Titanic.” Maybe this is a term that HSX traders can adopt to describe their portfolios after holding flop openers.

Now what is this bit of silliness from Miss Info about me being on vacation? If only wishes were king. She needs to get her facts straight. She ONLY WISHES all the columnists were away. I must say that if there is a conspiracy afoot to insult her, I will not join. She is the proclaimed queen of fluff and no writer worth their salt would want to take that crown away from her.

Speaking of vacations, I find the statistic that 11% of Americans would prefer to stay home for the summer holidays to be very interesting. Rather than travel elsewhere and spend lots of time and money doing so, these adults prefer to stay home and relax. This statistic comes to us from American Demographics magazine. Most of their survey’s rival those senseless survey’s that pepper Ticker Talk these days. So many new names on the boards with so many long threads. Let’s see….Gordon Gekko, Jazzmine, Derek Johnson, Sarek, and Don Corleone keep the boards so busy that poster Big Baby Jesus can hardly get a word in edgewise.

Change is good, but dollars are better.. Just remember, I don’t repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.